A Taste Of Loss
by Starfox500
Summary: For the first time Legolas has to face the possibility of losing his father.


******Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings and its characters are the property of Tolkien******

* * *

**A Taste Of Loss**

by Starfox

The courtyard of the stronghold in Eryn Galen, to the outside world better known as Mirkwood, was busy. The doors to the palace were wide open and elves came and went. A party of elves just returned, carrying baskets with herbs, mushrooms, and other offerings the wood had to offer that they had gathered. A group of hunters was just preparing their horses, a teacher herded a group of excitedly chattering children outside for their first lessons in tracking and a lot of other elves headed for the exit or back inside.

The prince of the kingdom and his second in command and best friend ignored the hustle as they crossed the courtyard on their way to the outdoor training grounds. New recruits had started their training and they wanted to get a first impression of the new warriors.

"Tegalad will relieve Amarthon in the south," Galdor said. "Do you want the newly finished recruits in the palace guard?"

"That would be best," Legolas agreed. "We have a few warriors who have earned enough experience that we can promote them to one of the patrols."

"Alright, I'll talk with Angon when he returns. How long does the king plan to stay in Laketown?"

Legolas grimaced. His father had left for a visit to Laketown to acknowledge the newly elected master after the old one had retired due to age. He also wanted to secure the trade agreements they had and negotiate new terms for a few wares. As long as his father was absent he had to act as regent. Instead of going out on patrol he had to deal with the daily paperwork, hold court and lead the council. These weren't his most favorite activities but he accepted that it was necessary. "At least a week. I hope he isn't delayed further, I'm not looking forward to spending my time at court and in council meetings."

Galdor laughed. "I know. You would rather battle spiders or fight orcs than deal with the councilors and petitioners."

Legolas started to reply but noise and loud calls drew his attention. There was a commotion on the bridge, hurried hoofbeats sounded and somebody was shouting for healers and a stretcher. Legolas and Galdor turned to investigate. As they came closer, they saw a rider flanked by two guards. They were just stopping their horses in front of the gates and the rider in the front was holding another person that sat slumped in front of him, an arrow sticking out from his chest.

For a moment what he saw didn't really register with Legolas, then he recognized the rider as Feron, who had ridden out with his father's delegation. A sudden breeze lifted the bloodied and dirtied hair of the injured elf and Legolas froze. "Adar," he gasped, running towards the pair, closely followed by Galdor.

"Be careful," Feron cautioned, "he's badly injured." He handed Thranduil down to Legolas and Galdor, who gently eased him off the horse.

By now elves carrying a stretcher had reached them and Legolas and Galdor carefully placed the king on it. The elves carrying the litter turned and headed into the palace towards the halls of healing.

"Somebody go ahead and alert Celairdir," Galdor ordered quickly, falling into step beside Legolas and putting an arm around him. His friend looked absolutely stunned. He had eyes only for his father, not taking notice of the way or obstacles.

As they reached the healing rooms Celairdir was already waiting for them. The door to the royal healing room stood open and he motioned them through to it.

"Please put him on the table," he requested and the elves carrying the litter put it down and lifted Thranduil gently onto the examination table. They bowed and left, casting sympathetic glances at their prince.

Celairdir grimaced as he saw the wound. The arrow had hit Thranduil's chest on the left side, close to the heart. It would be a difficult operation.

The door opened and Feron entered. His tunic and trousers were bloodstained but he had at least washed the blood off his hands. He came closer and stood beside Legolas and Galdor, watching as Celairdir examined Thranduil.

The healer was already gathering his instruments and giving orders to two of his assistants. He poured a liquid into a bowl and washed his hands in it, then he turned towards the watchers. "It'll take time to remove the arrow and we don't need distractions, so you better leave us to our work."

Legolas didn't seem to hear him, his gaze was still fixed on his father and there was an expression of stunned disbelief on his face.

Celairdir caught Feron's gaze and jerked his head in the direction of the adjoining room. Feron nodded in understanding.

He laid a hand on Legolas' shoulder. "Come, let Celairdir work. We are in the way at the moment."

Legolas looked up and for a moment he reminded Feron of the lost and frightened boy he had been when his mother had died. The naked fear in his eyes tore at Feron's heart. Legolas resisted for a moment but then he let himself be pushed in the direction of the other room, never taking his eyes off his father until they were through the door. Galdor followed them and closed the door while Feron led Legolas to a sofa and pushed him down.

Legolas leaned forward and put his head in his hands while Feron crouched down in front of him.

"How could this happen?" Legolas asked shakily.

"We were attacked by a large group of orcs. I think they laid in wait for us. Somehow word must have gotten out that Thranduil would visit Laketown. Fortunately Angon is very serious to all things concerning Thranduil's safety so we had enough warriors to deal with the threat. I don't know how it happened but obviously one of the orcs managed to get close enough to shoot an arrow."

Legolas still buried his head in his hands. "Eru, please, not again," he murmured barely audible.

Feron frowned worriedly, his grey eyes narrowed in concern. He knew that the death of Legolas' mother had hit both, Thranduil and Legolas, hard. Now Legolas feared losing his father as well. Father and son were close so losing Thranduil would be devastating to Legolas.

Galdor sat down next to his friend. "He's strong, he'll make it."

Legolas took a shaky breath and lowered his hands. Feron could see the naked fear in his eyes. "I brought him back as fast as possible after he was hit. Angon and most of the guards stayed to make sure that no orcs escaped and to take care of the dead and wounded," he continued his explanation.

Legolas nodded shakily. He shuddered as he saw the blood on Feron's clothes.

The door opened and Dilloth entered. He took in the scene in front of him and came over to them, taking a seat on the other side of Legolas. He didn't say anything, just put an arm around Legolas' shoulder in silent support.

The younger elf leaned gratefully into him and for a while there was silence. Dilloth scowled at Feron disapprovingly and gestured for him to get rid of his bloody clothes.

"I'll be right back." Feron squeezed Legolas' leg before he got up and left the room to change into clean clothes.

Legolas looked to the door wistfully, obviously wanting to follow and check on the progress of the operation.

"Don't," Dilloth said gently, "you'll only distract Celairdir. He'll let you know as soon as they're finished."

Legolas sighed and nodded. His whole body vibrated with tense energy.

A few minutes passed, neither of them speaking a word, then Feron returned, now dressed in clean clothes. He pulled a chair over to the sofa and sat down in front of Legolas, so that the prince was now flanked on three sides. Although they couldn't do much, they could at least be there for him.

Time passed slowly and Legolas rubbed nervously at a nearly invisible stain in his trousers until Feron couldn't stand it any longer and captured his hand between his own, stilling the movement.

The prince tried to pull free for a moment but Feron refused to let go and finally Legolas relented.

Only as Legolas seemed to have calmed down a bit did Feron release his hand.

"How can Ada stand it?" Legolas asked. "This waiting is torture."

Feron and Dilloth exchanged a glance. Fortunately Legolas didn't know that Thranduil flat out refused to leave his son's side when Legolas was seriously injured, because he had been mostly unconscious at these times. Thranduil had even helped to treat his son. He claimed that his past experiences, especially the seven years of battle in Dagorlad, had toughened him so much that nothing could shake him.

Of course, neither of them would tell Legolas that. They didn't want him to witness the operation Celairdir had to perform to remove the arrow.

"Your father can't stand it to see you injured," Dilloth said softly. "He hates to have to send you out on patrol."

"I know," Legolas agreed. "But we don't have a choice." He shook his head despairingly. "It's me who goes into dangerous situations, not him. He's not supposed to get hurt."

"Sadly, life isn't always fair," Feron said, "and even the most careful planning doesn't always help."

Legolas looked up at that. "Angon must feel terrible."

Feron nodded. "He was shocked. We were traveling with forty warriors and still that wasn't enough to protect Thranduil. One arrow was all it took to threaten the king's live."

Legolas took a deep breath. "But he did his best?"

"Yes, definitely. He even managed to keep your father from diving headfirst into battle."

Despite the seriousness of the situation Legolas had to smile. Of course, his father wouldn't want to stay passive and keep a safe distance when they were attacked. They were very alike in that. Legolas would loathe to be held back.

They fell silent again, neither of them knowing what to say and not in the mood to fill the silence with idle chitchat.

After a seemingly endless time the door opened and Celairdir stepped through.

Legolas looked up and rose apprehensively to his feet, flanked by Dilloth and Galdor.

Feron too, rose and stepped out of the way, coming to stand next to Dilloth.

Celairdir looked exhausted and his face gave nothing away. He came closer and stopped in front of Legolas. Giving the younger elf a reassuring nod, he reported. "We removed the arrow but he lost a lot of blood and the wound was poisoned. We gave him the antidote, now all we can do is wait."

Legolas paled. "How is the prognosis?" he asked hoarsely.

"If no further crisis arises he should recover, the next hours will be crucial."

Legolas nodded, dazed. The whole scene seemed surreal, as if he was stuck in a bad dream.

Galdor laid a hand on his shoulder. "Come, let's see your father." Legolas stood as if frozen, so Galdor gave him a gentle push.

They moved to the door, followed by the others.

Thranduil was lying in one of the beds, a soft blanket covering him. The bulk of the bandages around his chest could be clearly seen beneath the thin blanket. The other healers had already removed the supplies they had needed because Celairdir didn't want Legolas to see the bloody cloths and bandages. The king was utterly pale and his eyes were closed. Faint lines of pain marred his face. Somebody had cleaned the blood from his hair, the still damp strands had been gathered together and tied into a loose ponytail.

Legolas knew that Thranduil had fought in many battles and had been injured more than once but never before had he seen his father in such a condition. The prince wasn't afraid of death but the prospect of losing his father frightened him more than anything else he could think of.

He sank down into a chair by his father's bedside. Galdor kept standing beside him, offering silent support.

Dilloth and Feron had known Thranduil since Doriath so they had seen him wounded more than once and were not unused to the sight. Feron sought Celairdir's gaze and raised an eyebrow, silently asking if there was something else they should know. Celairdir shook his head and turned his attention to Legolas.

The younger elf looked stricken as he gazed at his father.

Celairdir took a bowl filled with hot water and crushed some athelas leaves into it. Immediately the fragrance spread through the room but even the uplifting smell of the athelas couldn't disperse the dark cloud that hung over their prince.

Celairdir bent down to Legolas. "Like I told you, he lost a lot of blood. It will take a while for his body to replenish that. That's why he's so pale."

Legolas nodded in understanding.

"It will also take some time for him to wake up. Right now, his body is busy with the blood loss and the poison."

Once more the younger elf nodded.

"I assume you want to stay the night?"

"Of course," Legolas replied indignantly. "I won't leave him alone."

"I'll stay with you." He looked up at the others. "You should leave. I'll alert you if anything changes."

Feron caught the hint. He knew that Legolas didn't like to display emotions openly. He certainly would prefer to be alone with his father and Celairdir for the moment. "Good night, we will see you in the morning." He motioned for the others to leave the room.

Galdor squeezed Legolas' shoulder before he turned and went to the door, followed by Dilloth and Feron. They turned and cast a last look at father and son before they left the healing room.

For a while there was silence as Celairdir and Legolas kept watch over Thranduil and each followed his own thoughts.

After a while Legolas spoke. "How could Ada bear it?" He looked over at Celairdir. "To lose grandfather?"

Celairdir sighed. He remembered the time. It had been a heavy blow to Thranduil. But there had been no time for grief or for brooding. "We were in the midst of war. Yes, Oropher's death hit him hard, but the army needed him, so there was no time for grief. He had to keep going and he did, even if it was hard for him."

Legolas turned to his father again. "I don't know if I could keep going," he admitted in a broken voice. "Nana's death was bad but at least we had each other, but to lose Ada..." he trailed off forlornly.

The healer's blue eyes held concern and sympathy. "Your people need you and you would be a good king, never doubt that. Your father had to struggle at first, too. First, he had to command the army during the siege in Mordor and after our return he had to fight to build up the kingdom again. It was not easy for him but he did it."

"I don't want to be king," Legolas murmured. "I never wanted that. I'm content to serve my people as a warrior."

Celairdir could see the anguish in his eyes. The younger elf was deeply afraid. Celairdir could understand him. If Thranduil died Legolas would be alone. There would be no family left he could turn to. Of course, Celairdir, Feron, Dilloth, Galdor, Angon and Galion would do their best to help him but that couldn't compare to a familial bond.

He stood and went over to Legolas, placing a hand on the prince's shoulder. "Your father is strong and stubborn. The injury is bad, but I'm optimistic that he will recover."

Legolas sighed. "I hope so," he whispered, once more fixing his gaze on his father.

Celairdir went back to his chair and tried to get comfortable. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

The hours passed slowly and nothing really changed. Thranduil's condition didn't improve and Legolas spent an anxious night at his father's side.

The sun had just risen and the first light of the day illuminated the room when Feron entered. He came closer and looked at the king, trying to gauge his condition. "Any change?" he asked.

Celairdir, who was busy mixing herbs with water, shook his head. "But at least he's not worse," he pointed out, trying to lighten Legolas' mood.

The prince didn't really pay attention to them. He hadn't moved from his place at all, still rooted to the spot, one hand encircling his father's wrist, letting the steady beat of his pulse soothe him.

Feron stood next to the bedside, facing Legolas.

The prince looked at him questioningly. "Angon and the warriors have returned," Feron reported. "They have burned the orcs. The warriors that were injured are now in the halls of healing."

Legolas nodded silently. Obviously Angon had deemed it safer to treat the lighter injuries on the battle field and don't send them home only with a light escort. "Any fatalities?" he asked.

Feron nodded grimly. "We lost two warriors, Faelon and Taleasin."

Legolas swallowed and lowered his head. He had known the two warriors, although they hadn't been close. Faelon had joined his father's guard a few centuries ago. His parents lived in a village outside of the palace and he had a brother who worked in the stables. Taleasin had been even longer in Thranduil's service. He also left a wife, which would be devastated at the loss. For a moment Legolas felt guilty that in the worry about his father he hadn't considered that other elves could have died in the attack.

"I will speak to their families," he said quietly. "I'm sure Ada would like to attend the memorial service so we should schedule it accordingly."

"I'll ask Dilloth to arrange it," Feron agreed. He hesitated, he wasn't really sure how he should approach the issue.

Legolas sensed his hesitancy. "There is more?" he asked warily.

Feron took a deep breath, then he squared his shoulders and looked Legolas in the eyes. "I hate to ask this of you, Legolas, but the people are worried. Rumors are circulating. It would reassure our people if there was some semblance of normalcy. If you would show yourself and lead the council sessions and hold court." He held his breath, unsure how the prince would react to his request.

For a moment it looked like Legolas would rebel. There was a fire in his eyes that made Feron take a step back. A few seconds ticked by and finally Legolas took a deep breath, sighed and looked at Celairdir.

"I'll notify you immediately if something changes," the healer assured.

Legolas nodded silently and stood. He looked down at his father for a moment, then he turned and headed out of the room without another word.

Feron let out the breath he had been holding.

"Well, I don't think you're his favorite person at the moment," Celairdir stated calmly.

Feron sighed. "I wish there was another option but the people are scared. There were many witnesses in the courtyard and rumors are spreading. They need guidance and they need to see their leaders."

"It has hit him hard. It's the first time he has seen Thranduil laid low by something. And a serious injury at that."

"I know. It's obvious that he's shaken. We'll do what we can to help but at the moment he is needed. Only his presence can reassure our people that not everything is falling apart. You know how we struggle, to be leaderless at such a time is something we can ill afford."

Celairdir sighed. He knew that Feron was right but still it seemed unfair that Legolas couldn't stay with his father at a time like this. Thranduil seldom left Legolas' bedside when his son was injured. Legolas should be able to stay as well. But that the king was seriously injured was not only a shock to Legolas but the whole kingdom. Celairdir understood that the people needed reassurance that their king would be alright. If neither king nor prince showed themselves there were bound to be rumors about the state of the king's health. They had to prevent people from panicking at all costs. Obviously, Legolas understood this even if he didn't like it.

He nodded reluctantly. "I know that you're right. Although I don't like it. Legolas should be able to stay here."

"That's the burden of being a prince," Feron said sadly. "And Legolas understands that. I'll keep an eye on things during council. I hope nobody tries his patience today, I don't think he would take it well."

"Certainly not," Celairdir agreed. "At the moment he is wound tighter than a bowstring."

Feron nodded. He looked down at Thranduil, noting how pale his friend was. "How is he really doing?" he asked.

"The blood loss was severe but he's stable and the poison seems to be under control. It'll take time but I expect a full recovery."

Feron nodded, satisfied. "I hope he'll wake up soon. I don't think Legolas will believe he's recovering until that happens."

Celairdir nodded. "He's terrified to lose Thranduil. And who can fault him for this. Thranduil is the last family member he has left."

"As is Legolas for Thranduil," Feron said quietly. "No wonder they are close."

The healer smiled pensively. "As Miriel died I was worried what would happen with these two. But soon it was obvious that my worry was unfounded."

They were lost in memories as both remembered the time after the queen's death. Legolas was an adolescent at that time, barely out of childhood. Thranduil proved Celairdir's fears superfluous then. He didn't withdraw into himself in his sorrow but turned to Legolas and was there for his son. They found solace with each other and that time of mourning and sorrow pulled them even closer together.

Feron stared down at his friend. It was disconcerting to see Thranduil so diminished. Normally he exuded a raw power, even when motionless, but at the moment that was missing. "Thranduil did great with Legolas. Even if it was hard for him to let him go."

Celairdir clearly remembered that time. When Legolas first asked his father to start his warrior training Thranduil was terrified. He feared losing his son but he also knew that he couldn't chain Legolas to the palace so he had to learn to live with his fear. Celairdir remembered well the first time Legolas had come home seriously injured. The agony and worry Thranduil had felt. That now Legolas had to worry for Thranduil would definitely give Legolas a greater understanding for his father's feelings.

"I have to go," Feron said. "Council starts in half an hour and I can't let Legolas face the advisors alone. Dilloth will be here shortly. He agreed to sit with Thranduil."

Celairdir nodded. "Alright, if anything changes, I'll send somebody."

Feron clasped his arm in passing and left the room.

* * *

Council and court kept Legolas busy until late afternoon and Feron was impressed how well the younger elf handled it all. He took questions after the king's health graciously and assured the advisors that although the king was injured, a full recovery was expected and there was nothing to worry about. Only Feron and Galdor, who knew Legolas well, could see the strain he was under. Otherwise he hid it well and attended his duties remarkably.

Thranduil didn't regain consciousness and on the morning of the second day he developed a slight fever, which of course caused Legolas new worry. But Celairdir had expected that and wasn't overly concerned. Much to Legolas' relief the healer's relaxed attitude proved correct and the fever broke on the morning of the third day.

The late evening of the third day found Legolas at Thranduil's bed again. The prince had not even taken the time to eat something after his daily duties had been finished. The king looked a bit better, his color had improved and his breathing was deep and even. But Legolas wished his father would finally wake up. Only then would he feel better and finally believe Celairdir's reassurances that Thranduil's condition was improving steadily.

Legolas rubbed a hand over his face tiredly. In the last days he had gotten a new understanding for his father's position. It was a heavy responsibility having to take care of the kingdom and keeping everything going while his thoughts were elsewhere. Feron, Dilloth and Galion did their best to help him but there were more than enough things he had to take care of personally. Some times when he was sitting in court or council and the elves argued endlessly about really unimportant things he had to suppress the urge to snap and tell them off.

And his father had not only to deal with these things daily but with the constant fear for Legolas when he was out on patrol. While Legolas normally just had to organize the patrols, attend the meetings of the captains, lead his patrols and attend council when he wasn't out on patrol. Thranduil did his best to keep Legolas' responsibilities at a level that allowed him some spare time. Legolas knew that his father deeply regretted that he had to burden his son with the duties he already had. Thranduil had envisioned a complete other life for his son as Legolas had been born and it filled him with sorrow that he had to send him out to fight for their home.

"You do your best, Ada," he whispered, reaching out and taking one of his father's hands in his. "I know you wish another life for me, but it's alright, really. Just please don't leave me alone. I couldn't bear it."

He lowered his head to their joined hands and closed his eyes. The last days had drained him and he was incredible tired. But he couldn't bring himself to try to rest, not before his father had woken.

The door opened and Legolas wearily lifted his head. Feron and Galdor entered and stepped closer. Galdor came to stand next to Legolas and put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder.

"How is he?" Feron asked.

Legolas sighed. "A bit better but still no signs of waking. Celairdir says we have to be patient, he lost a lot of blood." He lowered Thranduil's hand to the bed and pulled the blanket over his arm.

Feron took in the sight of his friend. Thranduil lay motionless, face pale but better than before and without the tight lines of pain which had lined it in the beginning. He never again wanted to witness his friend in such a condition.

He turned to Legolas. "You should rest, it has been three days and you didn't take any break for yourself. I'm here to relieve you and Galdor will make sure that you really rest."

The younger elf shook his head. "Thank you for your offer, but I prefer to stay here."

Galdor leaned down. "Legolas, you won't do anyone any good when you're completely exhausted." He put his hands beneath Legolas' armpits and pulled his friend to his feet. Legolas swayed slightly in exhaustion and Galdor put a steadying arm around his back.

As Galdor tried to turn Legolas and lead him to the door the prince resisted but Feron gently helped to push him forward. "You know your father wouldn't want you to exhaust yourself. Go, rest, don't come back before the morning. I promise to send for you if he wakes up."

They reached the door and Legolas sighed, casting a last glance at his father before he let Galdor lead him out.

They left the healing rooms and headed towards the royal quarters. Luckily it was late in the evening and they didn't meet a lot of other elves. Legolas was in no mood to be asked about the health of the king.

Legolas acknowledged the guards at the doors to the royal quarters with a nod before they entered the corridor that led to his father's and his rooms. Finally, they reached his chambers and he closed the door behind them with a sigh. Only now did he realize how exhausted he was.

It was dark outside but in Legolas' room the lamps were lit and a fire burned merrily in his hearth. A plate with bread, cheese, cold meat and a glass of water stood on his table and he made a mental note to thank Galion for his care. Galion worked for Thranduil for centuries now and he was as worried about the king as Legolas but still the butler did his best to fulfill Legolas' needs.

Galdor went into his bedroom and turned the blanket on his bed back. "Come," he said, "lay down for a while, you need rest."

Legolas removed his tunic and boots but didn't bother with the rest of his clothing. He lay down and Galdor pulled the blanket over him but instead of leaving, he pulled a chair over and sat down next to Legolas' bed.

The prince scoffed. "Do you think I need a guard?"

Green eyes regarded him seriously. "No, but a friend."

The fight immediately left Legolas. He felt exhausted and empty, and now, that he allowed himself to lay down, his exhaustion caught up with him rapidly. His eyes unfocussed, his mind too tired to concentrate on anything anymore.

Galdor's voice seemed to come from a large distance. "Rest now. Nothing will happen while you sleep."

Drowsily he wanted to protest that Galdor couldn't know that but before he could form the words in his mind he fell asleep.

* * *

As Legolas woke the next morning, he felt better. Feron had been right, he needed the sleep but that didn't lessen his annoyance with the older elf.

Yawning he sat up and rubbed his face wearily. Galdor must have left during the night because Legolas was alone.

He stood and padded into his sitting room. The tablet on the table had been exchanged. Now there were bread, butter, jam, honey, oatmeal, fruits, berries and tea. On his way to his bathroom he grabbed a piece of bread, although he didn't have much of an appetite. After he had refreshed himself he sat down to a hasty breakfast, forcing himself to eat something because he didn't want to spurn Galion's efforts. He had to hurry if he wanted to check on his father before the beginning of council.

Feron was sitting next to his father as he entered the room. He looked up at Legolas' entrance. "You look better," he stated, the tone of satisfaction in his voice unmistakable. "I take it you actually got some sleep?"

Legolas nodded. "But I'm still not too pleased with you." He looked at his father, noting that nothing much had changed, although his color seemed a bit better, he wasn't so pale anymore. "Still no change?"

Feron shook his head. "He's still unconscious. Celairdir says he should have woken by now."

"I don't understand," Legolas said despairingly. "His fever broke last morning, why doesn't he wake up?"

"Have faith," Feron encouraged, his grey eyes full of sympathy. "He made it so far, I'm sure it's just a matter of time."

Before Legolas could reply to that the door opened and Dilloth entered. "Good morning," he greeted softly and came over.

"Good morning," Legolas returned the greeting and Feron nodded in acknowledgement, standing from his chair to make place for his friend.

"Council starts in ten minutes," he reminded them, taking the offered seat. In the last days he had been sitting with Thranduil when Legolas and Feron had to attend their duties. Although Dilloth also had a place in the council and fulfilled an important role as Thranduil's assistant they had agreed that he would stay with the king during their absence so that somebody was there when Celairdir or Fainor, with whom Celairdir took turns, had to leave the room. Feron was not only one of Thranduil's closest friends but also his most important advisor, so he had to attend court with Legolas.

"Come," Feron addressed Legolas, "time to go."

The prince took a deep breath and cast a last look at his father. "See you later, Ada," he said, then he straightened and headed for the door, followed by Feron.

* * *

To Legolas council seemed to drag eternally this morning. Sure, there were a few important things to discuss, like the state of the provisions for winter or the state of the equipment for the army. But he really wasn't interested at the moment in the finer details of a trade agreement for ore. Even if he was certain that it was important. Luckily the advisors sensed his mood and a lot of the usual arguing and bantering was missing, so they made good progress in the order of the day. It was nearing noon and there were only three more things on the agenda then they would be finished.

A slight commotion at the doors drew Legolas' attention. One of the apprentice healers spoke with the guards, who let him enter. He headed for Legolas and the prince watched his approach with dread, certain that it had something to do with his father and hoping that it was good news.

The messenger reached him and on his silent signal he stepped closer, leaned down and spoke softly, so that nobody could overhear: "Celairdir says he is waking up, my prince."

Legolas felt intense relief welling up in him. It took him some effort to keep his face impassive and not show any of the emotions running through him.

"Thank you," he answered the healer, dismissing him.

He turned to the gathered elves. "Council is adjourned until tomorrow."

Feron threw him a questioning look but for once Legolas ignored him, although he knew that Feron was as worried about Thranduil as he himself was. He knew it was childish but he still hadn't forgiven Feron for asking him to do his duty when his father was grievously injured and for kicking him out and sending him to his own room last night.

So he let him wonder what message the healer had brought and left the council chamber with fast, purposeful strides, heading towards the healing halls.

* * *

As he entered the royal healing room his gaze immediately went to his father. Thranduil's eyes were still closed and he looked the same as the last time Legolas had seen him. Celairdir sat in the chair at his side, leaning over him with an expectant expression while Dilloth stood at the side of the bed, out of the way.

Legolas stepped closer and Celairdir got up and pushed him into the chair. "He is showing signs of waking," he explained. "It won't be much longer, I think."

Legolas leaned forwards and studied his father anxiously.

After a while Thranduil shifted his head and his eyelids fluttered. Slowly the heavy lids lifted and Thranduil blinked a few times. He shifted his head slightly and his gaze focused on Legolas.

Legolas held his breath and waited for a reaction.

"Legolas," Thranduil whispered weakly after a seemingly endless moment.

Legolas felt weak with relief. He leaned down and hugged his father carefully. "Welcome back, Ada," he murmured softly. "Don't ever scare me like that again." His voice trembled slightly.

Thranduil tried to return the embrace but he could only weakly lift a hand and put it on Legolas' back in a comforting gesture. With dismay he noticed how weak he was, after a moment his hand fell back to the bed limply.

Legolas pulled back and sat back in the chair. He smiled down at his father. "How do you feel?"

Thranduil furrowed his brow. His chest hurt horribly and he had trouble keeping his eyes open.

Celairdir stepped up next to Legolas. "Do you remember what happened?"

"Orc attack," Thranduil murmured.

"That's right, you were hurt by an arrow."

The king shifted lightly and grimaced. "Feels like it." He looked at Legolas "You alright?"

Legolas felt the insane urge to laugh. Here his father was, badly injured and weak from loss of blood and he asked _him_ if he was alright. "I'm fine, I'm not the one who was injured."

Thranduil nodded slightly, not taking his attention from his son. There was something in Legolas' bearing that he didn't like.

Celairdir took a cup from the bedside table and raised Thranduil carefully a bit. "Here drink this, it'll help with the pain."

The king obediently drank and Celairdir lowered him carefully back down onto the pillows. By now Thranduil was pale and exhausted. He fought to keep his eyes open. "That's it, now rest, you lost a lot of blood."

His eyes closed against his will and he drifted off into a deep sleep.

Legolas watched him a while longer, unable to tear his eyes away. The relief he felt was overwhelming but he knew that he would still worry until his father was fully healed and back on his feet.

Celairdir put a hand on his shoulder, obviously guessing his thoughts. "He'll be alright. It will take some time for him to regain his strength but the worst is over."

Legolas nodded in silent understanding and settled back in the chair. Celairdir squeezed his shoulder before he went to the door, speaking in a hushed voice with somebody there for a moment. Finally he returned to the bed, checking Thranduil's pulse again.

Dilloth gripped Legolas' shoulder and the younger elf saw up to him with a relieved smile.

The door opened and Feron entered. He approached somewhat hesitantly, knowing that he wasn't Legolas' most favorite person at the moment.

"How is he?" he asked quietly.

"He woke up for a moment," Legolas replied, eyes still fixed on his father. After a moment he turned his head and looked at Feron. "Come, join me, if you like," he said by way of apology.

Feron smiled gratefully and pulled a chair over, taking a seat next to Legolas.

There was a knock at the door and Celairdir answered it. A moment later he returned with a tray of food, placing it in front of Legolas. "Eat," he ordered firmly, "you haven't had anything since breakfast."

Legolas rolled his eyes but he complied and started to eat, feeling hungry for the first time since the whole ordeal had started.

The four fell into companionable silence. After Legolas had eaten, Celairdir took the tray and removed it from the room then he once again checked his patient. "He will most likely sleep for a few hours, so why don't you all rest while you can?"

Legolas immediately shook his head. "I have slept last night, I'll stay."

Dilloth and Feron exchanged a gaze. Feron nodded to Dilloth, indicating that he wanted to stay.

"Alright," Dilloth said, stretching to ease his cramped muscles, "if you'll stay I'll take some rest. Good night." He clasped Legolas' shoulder in passing and headed for the door.

"Good night," Legolas returned, trying to get comfortable.

Feron looked at Celairdir. "You should rest too, you look tired. Does he still need a healer present at all times?"

Celairdir seemed reluctant. "Not necessarily. But alert me if he wakes or anything is amiss."

"Of course," Feron promised.

Celairdir retreated, leaving Legolas and Feron alone with Thranduil.

Feron studied Legolas. He knew that the prince was still burdened by what had happened. His thoughts seemed to revolve only around the injury of his father.

"You are troubled. What's on your mind?"

For a while there was silence and Feron thought that Legolas didn't want to talk about it but finally the prince spoke up. "All those losses, how did he bear it? First grandfather, then grandmother, mother, how could he cope with it and go on?" He looked at Feron. "Celairdir told me some of it when grandfather died. But he has lost so much…" he trailed off, unable to put into words what had haunted his thoughts the last days.

Feron nodded. "It wasn't easy. Oropher and Thranduil were close. True, your grandfather made a mistake by ordering the attack too soon but he did his best for his people. He was a caring and devoted king and he loved Thranduil dearly. Thranduil was heartbroken as we found Oropher but we were in the midst of a war and he had to take over. Our people needed him. Outward he was the confident and strong leader but of course in privacy he had bad times." Feron remembered the first night after Oropher's death. Thranduil first had refused to see anybody, but he and Celairdir had been adamant. Finally, Thranduil's firm control had crumbled and he had given in to his grief, sobbing out his anguish in the arms of his best friends. The next time hadn't been easy but at least Thranduil had the support of his friends and at that time he was already married to Miriel so that the bond with his wife could help him through this dark time. "Luckily he also had the bond with your mother, that was a big support in this time of grief."

Legolas nodded, silently digesting what Feron had told him. Still, he couldn't fathom how his father had managed to go on and recover after his losses.

"You should have seen him as you were born," Feron continued. "He was the proudest and happiest father one could imagine. He loved you deeply on first sight. As Miriel died, you were the one thing that kept him from fading, I'm sure of that."

He had been a youth when his mother died, barely into adolescence and the death of his mother had hit him hard. As he learned that his mother was dead he felt as if the floor had been pulled away beneath him. A deep anguish and pain had overcome him, so bad that he felt like he couldn't breathe. He remembered his father then. Thranduil hadn't let him see his mother's body. He had seemed to have a firm control over his emotions, his face expressionless, almost stony, only his eyes had told of the grief and anguish he felt. He had taken Legolas into his rooms and as Legolas had broken down in tears, he had pulled him into a firm embrace, stroking his hair and back soothingly and finally shedding tears of his own, sharing his son's grief. Thranduil had been a pillar of strength for Legolas although he had been deeply grieved himself. The death of his mother had left a big hole in their life, her sharp intellect, her gentle and calming demeanor and her joy in life and the smallest things had been sorely missed.

Legolas smiled wistfully. He remembered his early childhood. The times with his mother and father were always something special. He remembered his mother singing to him, sitting against his father, who had his arms around her. He remembered Thranduil laughing, his deep baritone sounding through the garden. His father had smiled and laughed a lot. After his mother's death it had taken him a long time to overcome his grief enough to find joy again. All in all, his father had led a hard life.

Involuntarily Legolas' hand found the leaf pendant with the hidden vial with poison around his neck and he vowed silently that he would give his best to prevent that his father had to pay the ultimate price: losing the last of his family.

Feron seemed to have guessed his thoughts. "To lose you would utterly destroy him. He agonizes each time you head out on patrol. I think Thranduil would have been happy if you had decided you wanted to become a healer or a minstrel or wanted to learn some craft. But you wanted to fight for Eryn Galen and for your people and Thranduil would never hold you back."

Legolas gazed at his peacefully sleeping father, face smooth in repose, his still closed eyes the only indication that he was not simply resting. Carefully he brushed some hair out of his face, his hand lingering on his cheek for a moment, the warmth of his skin reassuring.

"I know that he fears for me," he said quietly. "I have gotten a new understanding what it would mean for him to lose me. I couldn't bear losing him." Slowly, he withdrew his hand and took a deep breath. The fear still lingered, although he knew that it was unnecessary, that his father was on the road to recovery. He remembered the mind-numbing terror he had felt upon seeing his father in Feron's arms, the arrow sticking out of his chest. Now he understood that that was exactly what his father felt every time he was seriously injured.

Feron put a hand on his forearm, squeezing softly. "You know that he's careful. He would never wish such pain on you. And if something happened, I think he would bargain with Mandos himself to come back." He smiled gently. "Your father can be as stubborn as a dwarf, I'm sure he would make quite an impact on Mandos."

Legolas couldn't suppress his smile. "Oh yes, I heard you and Celairdir grumbling often enough about that." He grew serious again. "Ada's a great king. Our people deserve the best."

Feron was perceptive enough to understand what he didn't say. That he seriously doubted that he was good enough. He leaned over, gripped Legolas' chin and forced him to look at him. His grey eyes had lost all traces of mirth and he implored Legolas earnestly. "Legolas, you did great these last days. Don't doubt your abilities to lead. You showed our people that you would be perfectly capable of taking over."

Legolas' eyes still held doubt so Feron stated with emphasis: "I mean it. Thranduil couldn't have done better under these circumstances. You were worried sick about him and still you did remarkably well at court and in council."

Legolas nodded reluctantly, obviously still not convinced. Feron sighed inwardly. Normally Legolas didn't doubt his abilities, but his father's injury had shaken him seriously and Feron suspected that the self-doubt he now experienced came from his shaken confidence. Up until now he had been certain that his father would always be there, that he could rely on his father's presence and advise. For the first time he had to face how it would be to be on his own, to have only himself and maybe some friends to rely on. He could only hope that with Thranduil's recovery everything would get back to normal. He would of course talk with Thranduil about his observations. He knew that the king would be immensely proud about the performance of his son but he would also be deeply worried and troubled how hard his injury had hit Legolas. They would need to find a way to ensure Thranduil's safety without caging the king in the stronghold or the safe part of the wood. Thranduil could not live like a prisoner.

For now he pushed the dark thoughts and worries aside. He checked that Thranduil was still sleeping peacefully then he addressed Legolas. "Well, your father is getting better, let's focus on that. It will be a few hours until morning, what about a game?"

A smirk spread slowly over Legolas' face. "What about a game of chess?"

Feron groaned. Legolas was very good at chess, it was rare that he lost a game. "If you insist on humiliating me," he grumbled, accepting his fate.

Legolas laughed and went into the adjoining room to get the wooden box in which the game was stored.

Soon they were engrossed in their game, the silence only broken occasionally by soft conversation, kept low to not disturb the peaceful sleep of the king.

* * *

The next time Thranduil woke, he felt stronger and his head was clear. He felt tired, beyond anything else, although he was quite sure that he had slept for a long time since he had trouble to find his way to wakefulness. But slowly the darkness receded and finally he managed to lift his lids.

As he opened his eyes he couldn't help but notice that he had still slept with his eyes closed. But overall, he didn't feel too bad. As he tried to shift his body reminded him that that wasn't the smartest idea, a sharp pain from his chest causing him to gasp.

His movement had been noticed then the mattress dipped and Legolas appeared in his line of sight. His son looked tired, obviously he hadn't slept much in the last time. Since Thranduil knew how he reacted when his son was seriously injured, he could very well imagine how Legolas had fared.

"Good evening, Ada," his son greeted, a small smile lighting his features. "How do you feel?"

"My son," he returned the greeting, "you look tired."

A snort from his left told him that they were not alone. He turned his head and met the gaze of Celairdir. The healer's blue eyes held a spark of mirth but also relief and compassion. "That's because he insisted on staying with you instead of taking some much needed rest. I hope now that you're back with us he will see reason and listen to me when I tell him he should go to bed."

Thranduil frowned, his gaze searching Legolas again.

"Don't worry, Ada," his son assured him, "Celairdir is exaggerating greatly. Feron sent me to rest."

"Two days ago," Celairdir murmured, disapproving.

Legolas ignored him and turned to his father, taking a glass of water from the bedside table and offering it to Thranduil with a questioning expression. Thranduil nodded and Legolas carefully slipped an arm behind his back and helped him to rise from the pillow a bit. He held the glass to his father's lips and Thranduil drank slowly. Finally, as he had taken his fill, Legolas gently lowered him down again, putting the glass back onto the table.

Thranduil met his son's worried gaze and decided to be honest. "My chest still hurts but other than that, I don't feel too bad."

Celairdir nodded. "Your wound is healing but it will take some more time until it will no longer bother you." He took another glass from the bedside table and came closer. "Here, that's for the pain."

Thranduil drank it too, without putting up much resistance. The pain from just his slight movements was enough to convince him that he definitely wanted a painkiller.

He sank back into the cushions again, his exhaustion mounting. Legolas studied him with a worried frown so he tried to reassure him. "Don't worry, son, I'm just tired."

Celairdir put a hand on Legolas' shoulder as he addressed Thranduil. "You lost a lot of blood. It will take some time for your body to replace that and until then you will tire more easily."

Thranduil nodded. Before he could form a response, the door opened and Feron entered. He took in the scene and upon seeing that Thranduil was awake, a smile stole over his face. "Welcome back, it took you long enough."

Thranduil grimaced. "Thank you for your concern," he said wryly. "I trust the kingdom is still standing?"

"In no small parts thanks to your son, yes." Feron came to a stop next to Legolas and Thranduil looked at them, his son sitting on his bedside flanked on the left and right by his two friends. All three were smiling but in Legolas' eyes he believed to see something else, a deep uncertainty or fear and Feron's gaze held concern when he looked at his son. He silently vowed to get answers later but for now he and his son needed rest.

"Feron, can you please accompany Legolas to his quarters, make sure that he rests?" he requested. Legolas was about to voice his protest but Thranduil lifted a hand and brushed his cheek. "Go, rest, come back later," he said gently. "I'm certainly not going anywhere."

Legolas smiled somewhat shakily, then he nodded reluctantly and rose to his feet.

Feron nodded at Thranduil, conveying the silent message that he would take care that his son really rested, then he put a hand on his back and pushed slightly, trying to get him going.

"Good night, Ada, sleep well," Legolas said before heading reluctantly for the door.

Feron turned at the door and gave Thranduil a reassuring smile, then they headed out of the room.

Thranduil watched them leave, noting the slight hunch of Legolas' shoulders, as if the weight of the world rested on him and frowned.

Celairdir watched his friend and saw his expression. "He is shaken," he explained. "It's the first time that he had to face the possibility of losing you."

Thranduil turned his attention to Celairdir.

"It was a tough time for him," his friend continued. "He was worried sick about you and he still had to hold court, lead the council and act as regent."

Inevitably Thranduil remembered the time of Oropher's death. It had hit him hard and it had taken a long time to recover from that. To think that Legolas had to fear losing him and facing everything on his own was unbearable. He never wished to cause his poor son such anguish.

"I never wanted to burden him like this," he murmured.

"You didn't plan to get shot," Celairdir pointed out, dryly, "so don't dare to blame yourself."

Thranduil nodded reluctantly. "How did he fare otherwise?"

"Feron says he did great at court and in council, you can be proud of him."

The king smiled. "I didn't expect anything else."

Celairdir nodded. "Although he doubted himself. And he doubted his ability to go on and lead our people in case…" he trailed off, certain that Thranduil knew what he meant.

Thranduil nodded in understanding. "I also had doubts after Adar's death, I think that's normal. I felt totally overwhelmed and wholly unprepared."

"I don't remember you showing much of that."

"We were in the midst of war, I had to lead our army. There was no time to brood and wallow in self-doubt, but at first I was terrified."

Thranduil shifted slightly to get more comfortable and couldn't suppress a yawn.

"You're exhausted, go back to sleep." Celairdir pulled the blanket higher and Thranduil relaxed against the cushions and closed his eyes. Finally, he succumbed to his exhaustion and drifted off into sleep.

* * *

Two weeks after the ambush Thranduil had been released from the halls of healing. The day after that, they had held the memorial service for the two warriors that had died during the attack. It had been tough on the king, leaving him drained and exhausted afterwards, but he didn't want to delay any further.

Now he was on the road to recovery even if he still had to move carefully. At the insistence of Celairdir he hadn't resumed all of his duties yet but things were on their way back to normal.

On this day, he had spent his morning in his study, doing paperwork, while Legolas still held court and attended the council meeting. After a few productive hours he had grown tired and decided to leave his work for now and to enjoy the nice summer afternoon on his balcony.

He was lounging on a couch, the sun had wandered and so the sunlight was warming his skin while he looked out over the forest. The sunlight also painted patterns onto the slightly swaying leaves. Here the forest was still healthy and reminded observers why it had been named Greenwood the Great.

Thranduil leaned his head back and closed his eyes, listening to the sounds around him. The forest was full of life and he listened to the songs of the birds, the chattering of the squirrels and the occasional call of a stag. He loved this special music and for the first time in a while he felt utterly relaxed.

He heard the door to his chambers open and footsteps approaching but he didn't bother looking who it was. The guards wouldn't let anybody except the royal family and their friends through so it was either Legolas or one of the others coming to check on him.

"Ada?" came the call in just this moment, confirming his suspicion.

"Outside," he answered, still not moving from his comfortable spot.

The footsteps sounded again and then Legolas appeared in the door to the balcony. He stopped and studied his father. After a moment his features relaxed slowly and a small smile appeared on his face.

"Come, sit with me," Thranduil invited and Legolas didn't hesitate to take a seat next to his father.

Thranduil put an arm around his shoulders and Legolas leaned against him, relaxing against his side. They hadn't been sitting like that for a long time and both enjoyed the moment of closeness and peace. Legolas felt his father's love wrap around him like a blanket, melting away the icy feeling of dread that hadn't left him completely since he first caught sight of his badly injured father.

"How was court today?" Thranduil asked.

"Not too bad. Only a few minor disputes and a few of our people asked for permission for a new settlement in the north. Since it's within the protected borders I saw no reason to refuse."

Thranduil hummed approvingly.

For a while there was silence but finally Thranduil decided to speak up about what he sensed in his son. "I know that the past days were hard for you, do you want to talk about it?"

For a moment there was silence. Then finally Legolas turned toward his father. "I was so afraid of losing you," he whispered, looking at Thranduil and his father could see the deep anguish in his eyes. "Feron told me what happened as grandfather died. You did so well, how did you manage to carry on?"

He put his hand on Legolas' forearm, squeezing gently. "I had to," he said softly. "I didn't have a choice, our people needed me. So as hard as it was, I had to pull myself together and lead them. And I have no doubt that you would do the same if something like that ever happened again."

Legolas swallowed. "I don't know if I'm ready for that," he admitted, looking down.

"Legolas, listen to me. I promise to be careful. But should something happen to me, I know that you're ready. You'll make a good king. Don't ever doubt that. You did great, despite the stress you were under. Your judgments in court were sound and you did good in council. Feron told me that I can be proud of you and I _am_ proud."

Legolas flushed slightly. "Thank you, Ada. It was hard, I didn't want to leave you. Feron said our people were afraid and needed a leader. I think he was right. The first day after your return there was a lot of agitation at court. It died down as we proceeded normally." He smiled slightly. "As Feron asked me to resume my duties I wasn't too happy with him."

Thranduil chuckled. "I can imagine. Feron told me that for a moment he was afraid."

Legolas looked up again and smiled shakily. "At least now I know how you must feel every time I get seriously injured."

Thranduil grimaced. "I never wanted to cause you such worry. It's enough that I have to bear that fear and anguish. Every time you go out on patrol I pray to the Valar that nothing happens to you."

Legolas put a hand on his father's arm. His blue eyes held sympathy and understanding. "I promise to not take unnecessary risks. I wish I could promise more than that but you know how it is."

Thranduil sighed. Yes, he knew how it was. He had to learn to live with the constant fear and worry each time Legolas headed out on patrol. So, he wasn't really unhappy that Celairdir hadn't cleared him for duty completely. As long as Legolas had to take his place in court and at council he couldn't go on patrol. For a short time he had him home, safe and sound.

"That's all that I can ask for," he agreed. "That you are careful. I hope that'll be enough."

Legolas nodded and sat back against the backrest. "The same goes for you." He chuckled lightly. "But I'll ask Angon to take more warriors when you ride out again."

Thranduil laughed. "Don't worry, I think he already plans that himself. I fear I have to travel with a small army when I visit Laketown next time." He put his arm back around Legolas' shoulders and his son nestled against him again, slowly relaxing in the late afternoon sun.

They leaned against each other comfortably and together they watched the colorful sunset. For now, they were well and they were together, that was all that mattered.

END


End file.
